Bad World
by micahskitty
Summary: What do you get when you cross the wedding of the year with a rock star? An AU fic about Nate&Blair's wedding, and Chuck's rocking revelation that love never dies, not even when you run.
1. when the wind blows

hi everyone. :) this is my first shot at GG, and so i'm pretty excited. i'm a chair shipper, but lately, i find myself cheering on nair. don't hurt me. :) anyway, i'm not new to the world of GG nor to the world of FF, so i like reviews and feedback.

disclaimer: i own nothing. the lyrics included are labeled with a number and included at the end of the story. they belong to their owners and are merely borrowed for short clips and story progression.

love!

All they had was this: passion. The problem with that was it had the tendency to burn out. For awhile the sparks would fly, combine, display a wondrous and promising light until it burnt out and ended in flames that were too hot to touch.

This was the exact opposite of the cool breeze, the frozen air she suffered from when she found herself suffocated by the doting boyfriend of the past three years. Unhappy wasn't the word she would use, because Queens are never that. They are merely … restless. It didn't help that their self-titled Breakfast Club had collapsed and the only two who remained in the UES was the dysfunctional, but picture perfect pairing of Blair Waldorf and Nate Archibald.

Serena had found that life better suited her on the coast and without so much as a goodbye, left for California. And Chuck Bass? No one knew. He had vanished into the night as he so often did. The days became weeks, then months, and finally years. Private investigators yielded no news, and the search seemed futile.

It didn't stop her from addressing his invitation by hand, crafted gently and with care well into the night with an included message should he need any further information.

This would be the wedding of the century and the news of it spread far and wide, faster than the invitations did. It was by his television screen that Chuck Bass heard the news, and while they say that you shouldn't shoot the messenger, it didn't stop him from throwing the TV out the window. Another one was delivered immediately.

After all, who dared to argue with a rock star? Especially one so mysterious as he, the lead heart-throb of the latest teen sensation, Bad World, better known as BW. He had named the band with the intentions of it being known as its initials, as they stood for something far bigger than fame.

Love.

- - - - - - - - -

"Blair, why do we have to supply our guests with three different appetizer themes?" His voice was low, matured from that of the seventeen year old that he used to be. Even Nate had grown, his shaggy hair trimmed back to settle neatly against his permanently tanned face.

It was years of restraint that came that serene smile on her petite, fox-like features as Blair looked towards her husband-to-be. "Everyone needs choices, darling."

That's why it took her two months to pick a wedding dress color, and another three to select an actual dress. You wouldn't believe how many shades of what could be considered white there were.

"I know, but this many?" Wrinkled brows collided together, giving his confused and mildly frustrated expression more form. "You're single-handily causing all of Manhattan to become obese."

The problem with Nate is that he didn't realize when a line had been crossed. Blair had recovered well from her initial eating disorder, but it was a painful reminder that would unconsciously spark a reaction.

With a spine that sat straight suddenly, she'd glare at him. "You choose."

That tone made the golden-boy realize that he had said the wrong thing, and always looking to avoid the fight, he'd smile. "Aw, Blair, you're far better at picking these things than I am."

"Then stop questioning everything." Irritation had found its way into that sentence, making it sound more scathing than she had intended.

Silence settled between the two before Blair gave in – it was a thing she did only for Nate.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. This wedding is just… it's starting to stress me." A waning smile was offered to Nate, her best attempt at an apology.

His long legs carried him across the room in no time where he was able to embrace her, and like all times before this, she'd settle against him. Everything seemed easier, even if they did have their moments. This was why she loved him.

"I love you, Blair Waldorf."

"Soon to be Archibald, sweetheart." And even though she knew, deep inside she –knew- that she loved him, it was hard to say.

If Nate noticed, he said nothing and instead brushed a stray strand away from her face. "That's right. I've got some business to finish. Dinner, tonight?" A grin, one that she could never say no to.

And so she didn't, giving him the smile and a nod. "Of course."

As she watched him leave, she'd keep smiling to herself as she turned back to finish addressing the numerous envelopes in front of her. Sure, she could have paid someone to do these for her, but it was easier to gloat about her landing the mayor of the city when she took care of everything herself.

A stray invite remained on her lap, carefully hidden from her fiancée. It probably wasn't a good sign that she was already hiding things from him, but when they related to Chuck Bass, she was the best at hiding things.

-------

(1) shakin' hands -- nickelback


	2. we run

I've found one of the best ways to get inspiration is to re-watch episodes of GG… I've also found that I don't really like repeats, CW. And the new episode isn't airing 'til April 20th! Jeez.

Put me outta my misery and review with your thoughts on the story, and on this delay. ANOTHER delay. Sheesh.

Disclaimer: Not my characters or my show. I wish. Lyrics go to their proper bands and are labeled and credited.

Sweat was starting to fall from his face as he slouched back in his seat. Another successful show. The scarf that lingered around his neck was used to mop at his face, settled back over his shoulders as he stared ahead.

"….it's the wedding of the century and a great opportunity for us. He's going to love it!" The voice of his manager and often bed partner bubbled over, glee spilling into his ears and enticing a scowl. What could have her so pleased?

"Mr. Naylor," his new identity. It wasn't that hard to forge one if you knew the right people. "We've just received word from the mayor's office up north. A Mr. Archibald was requesting BW for his wedding. He understands that your type of music isn't the typical genre for occasions such as these, but he's insisting. He's a big fan." It pleased her to no end to be able to relay this.

Chuck grimaced, glaring hard at the ground. "Steph, why would we do a wedding?"

The perky brunette adjusted her glittering headband and smiled. "Think of the press, the advantage of this. It could take you to new heights." Business was her highest priority when it came to "Mr. Naylor".

"Mr. Archibald, hm…? I hear he's marrying that Waldorf girl." He knew her name, of course, but it was easier to pretend that it didn't hurt to think of her if he didn't say it out loud.

Steph's head bobbed in acknowledgment. "You've heard of it?" Of course he had. It was being covered by every news channel. They were some kind of royalty in their own right. To think, he had once been a part of this.

"Steph… We're going to do this wedding granted you can do a few things for me." The drawl he had in his younger days turned to be his most persuasive technique, and he used it with his smoldering gaze as he started at her. "First, locate Serena van der Woodsen. I don't care how you do it, but do it. Tell her she's coming to the wedding."

The hand of the manager-cum-secretary flew across her pad as she wrote down the name, head nodding along with the words. Patient brown eyes looked up to find him staring at her, and while she remained flustered, he would continue.

"Buy yourself a nice dress and two gold rings. Make mine a size 9 and whatever size yours is. I'm thinking 6."

Watching her, Chuck was able to see the confusion pass over her features before she'd pause and ask the question he was waiting to hear.

"Why?"

"Because we're married."

For the past year, Steph had been with Mr. Naylor and rarely questioned him. Things worked better this way. On this, she'd hesitate and eventually write down his ring size with the questions burning in her brain. Having been dismissed, she'd set about accomplishing these various tasks.

It appeared the games between Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, would never end. This just started a new one, one that he intended to win.

Let's hope Nate keeps his game face on.

--------

"…. Is this my punishment for picking foods you don't like? Because, honestly Nate, you eat everything so I don't think it's fair. Or was it the tuxedo colors? I thought you wanted to match. If not, say so and we'll try again."

On the corner of a wide oak desk sat Blair Waldorf, an ear bud tucked inside her ear while the other hanged loosely in front of her.

"Blair," Nate began on a laugh, his head shaking while his eyes sparkled with amusement. "I'm not trying to punish you. This was the deal, remember? You picked everything and I got to choose the entertainment. I've contacted them and they've agreed to perform. Everything will be as tasteful and wonderful as you want, I promise."

The song continued to play and Blair vaguely listened to the lyrics that pumped through, frowning.

_(1)Well she ain't no Cinderella  
when she's getting undressed  
because she rocks it like the naughty  
wicked witch of the west  
_

"Tasteful? It's got the word naughty in it!"

In the middle of the tirade against the band, she'd recall a certain afternoon when a secret lover had made the very same comparison…

A sudden head shake brought her back to reality as she heard the last of Nate's rebuttal.

"…they've agreed to edit and tame, but they're good Blair. Listen to some of their other stuff. You'll see."

Blair huffed and retrieved her cat named Cat, holding her close as the pair remained in the office of their home. "If you say so." At long last she'd give him, trusting Nathaniel. After all, he was the only one who earned it.

"Thank you," was all he could manage as he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead, lingering before returning to his paperwork. "Have you thought anymore on the honeymoon? You never really said why my idea was so bad."

"….Tuscany is so over-rated. We should go somewhere else. Why not somewhere with snow?"

"A honeymoon… in a place where it snows? Remind me how that could possibly be romantic." Nate sat the pen down and reclined in his chair, looking to Blair with an amused expression. Her avid disdain of Tuscany hadn't failed to slip his notice, and he was certain that he knew the reason why… it just wasn't coming to him.

"You and me, hot chocolate made by Dorota and packed with care, a fire… They say the best way to stay warm is to stay close and under covers…" The sentence trailed off as she captured his lips in a gentle kiss, enjoying the lack of pressure.

"Mm, you're right. The snow sounds wonderful." It was rare that Nate would ever disagree with Blair's ideas, especially when they started with such a promising invite.

(1)Shakin' hands - Nickelback


	3. lust a prima vista

Well. I know you guys are readin' cause I'm getting' a lot of hits. So that's pretty swell! Welcome to chapter 3. Hope you love it, too.

-------

Chuck never really liked school, but the one subject he seemed to excel in was writing. Truthfully, he was certain that he would be capable of out-writing that Brooklyn boy any day, but that required effort. He rarely bothered with it, but when one was inspired…

"Are you writing a new song?" Steph's voice startled him away from the scrawl across the napkin, causing him to look up and settle that smirk on his features.

"Mm, yes, for the wedding. I thought they might enjoy something different from the usual BW stuff. Did you get the rings?"

Just like that, the subject was changed and left alone as his hand was offered, palm up, to collect the object.

Fumbling in the pouch dangling from her thin fingers, she'd proceed to offer him the bigger one before smiling. "Just as you asked."

Chuck slipped his over the proper finger and frowned. In reality, he would never wear one of these things… and if he ever did suffer from a lack of sanity and agree to wearing one of these, the only person capable of such was preparing to wear one of her own… with another man.

"Thank you. Be sure to put yours on. We'll try to keep this as quiet as possible and you'll be compensated when this is over." And just like that, he was ready to forget about her presence and turn back to his latest batch of lyrics.

Steph realized this, and wasn't surprised at his sudden change. "Yes sir," muttered into the air before she turned and left, fingering her own ring. This was bound to be an interesting wedding.

-------

"You don't understand! I'm her best friend!" The erratic blonde fought against the arms of the muscled guard that held her. "Let me go! Blair! Get B! She can tell you."

Blair had been roused from her room and summoned to the door to find that the source of the shouting was Serena, a ghost from the past. While she knew it wasn't lady-like, she'd jump in the air with a squeal.

"Serena! Let her go, she's a friend. My best friend." Even time wasn't capable of separating these two and they were soon reunited.

"B! I heard the news and I'm so excited. I came as soon as I could."

Blair pulled away from her friend and blinked, "Heard it? Don't you get mail out at the beach house of yours? I sent you an invite."

Serena, better known as the first letter of her name, tugged on a piece of her blonde hair. It had been cut to a much shorter length now, barely tickling the tan and bare shoulders of the beautiful blonde. "Uhm, no, I got a phone call actually. I thought you arranged it? Her name was Stephanie and she even provided the plane ticket."

Having no knowledge of this, Blair simply smiled and dropped her head to the side as though she knew the answer. "Nate must have had someone do it for me, as a surprise. He's so thoughtful!" Certain that this was the best solution, she'd link arms with S and begin to lead her up the walk way.

"Oh, B, I was so excited to hear it. I mean, I always knew it would be you and Nate. Even after everything that happened…" The leggy blonde knew better than to actually bring details to their past and quickly let the subject go. "What color is your dress?"

The two became inseparable as the day went on, passing by the hours with incessant giggles and conversation. When Nate arrived to their penthouse, he asked no questions and merely joined in on the fun. It almost felt like normal, and everyone avoiding looking at the fourth side of the table though they all felt it.

They were missing a member.

-------

"That was great!" From manager to groupie, Steph had everything covered. She had meant every word of her compliment though. This song was different and she enjoyed it, just as much as any other song that they had put together.

"You wrote this for a wedding, man?" Russia asked. Russia was his band-name, but it was his better-known one. In a band called Bad World, they had introduced themselves as various countries. It seemed amusing and it worked.

"Not just a wedding, but the wedding of the century," proclaimed America in a daring, booming voice. The drummer was all for dramatics as she looked towards their singer who didn't join the country-titled band preferring the simple letter C.

A scoff came from Chuck, and all eyes travelled to C. "Wedding? More like torture. How any man would willingly enter it, astounds me."

Steph looked towards the hand which displayed his "wedding band" and hid a smile. If he felt this way about weddings, why was he trying so hard to portray that he had been in one already? Maybe there was more to this situation than she had assumed.

"Are you packed, Steph?" Chuck asked his voice low as he moved towards her to settle a possessive hand around her neck, in the mood that promised she would take delight in tonight.

"Of course, sir."

As the two walked on, the conversation continued in a pattern that Chuck Bass had become familiar with since the age of 13. The wedding, which was in two days, remained heavily on his mind and he sought relief in any way he could.

But he didn't admit to himself that Steph was a replacement until he watched her. Brown eyes, brown hair, and a headband that accompanied a sense of innocence that she upheld despite her quiet schemes and determination to reach the top.

When she went to sleep, Chuck crept from the bed and went to his suitcase. With the quiet movements he had mastered over the years of sneaking away, he unzipped it and revealed a black square box. Opening it, he studied a necklace that was worth far more than the cost suggested.

A single tear slid down and dropped atop a diamond before he found his composure at the bottom of a scotch shot.

-------

"We have to hurry, S!"

S peeked a head out from under the blankets to look towards her petite friend, noting that the sun hadn't even risen yet. "Why?"

Blair huffed, tugged on the blankets and was determined to get her to make an appearance. "To get you fitted for the dress!"

"A dress, B? I'm not the one getting married." At long last she'd swing her legs around and try moving away from the bed. "What time is it?"

"5. We have to get moving. We've got to get the perfect dress and have it fitted for tomorrow. You're the maid of honor." This was a last minute decision, but those were known to happen when this van der Woodsen got involved.

A short squeal of excitement was emitted from the blonde as she ran to the changing room to locate her clothes and get prepared.

It was 6 when they finally left for the dress shop, and it was 6:01 when Chuck's plane touched down. Here, he knew he would be recognized, but there was little else he could do. After all, a billionaire could only hide for so long.

As expected, he was greeted by a horde of press seeking information about his whereabouts. It was surprising that no one had made the connection yet; from orphaned billionaire to rock star. Then again, any private investigator was sent away with an even bigger sum of cash and was told to never relay information about their findings.

"Mr. Bass, have you returned to take over your business?"

"Mr. Bass, are you attending the wedding between Mr. Archibald and Ms. Waldorf?"

"Mr. Bass, is it true that you had a history with the couple? And that you slept with Ms. Waldorf?"

This reporter obviously didn't know better, or didn't appreciate their job. Even if you did go snooping into the past of Chuck Bass, you never spoke of it. Calm, cool, and still composed he'd address the pack with a signature smirk.

"I'm in town for business," He declared, adjusting the jacket of his suit as he paused. "Yes, I will be at the wedding. Nathaniel is my best friend, after all. As for the mention of my past with Waldorf, that won't be addressed. I'll remember your name, however."

With the arrogance that only a Bass could contain, he'd move through the swarming sharks to find a limo waiting. Thankfully, the rest of the band would be arriving much later and privately. It paid to pay, and he was the king of Pay-offs, at this rate.

"To the Palace," he instructed the driver off his car before lounging back, scarf adjusted over suit. He never left without his signature.

-------

"B! You didn't tell me that you booked BW for your wedding." As always, Serena was a ball of energy that refused to be tamed and would move swiftly down the road as they shopped.

Distracted by a dress in the window, Blair frowned and looked to S. "BW? What's that?"

Tugging on her hand to lead her into the store that Blair was studying, Serena continued. "You know, Bad World? The band? The lead singer is totally gorgeous!" If only she knew who he was. Granted, Chuck had taken precautions not to be recognized, but now that he was back in town, who cared? "You'd love him! He reminds me of someone though…"

While S lost herself in thought, Blair continued to look through the dresses. "Oh, that. You like them?" Her tiny nose scrunched up as she flicked her hair behind her. "Nate picked them since I picked everything else. It was our compromise. I listened to some of their stuff."

What she didn't admit was that she kept it on replay during the night. That voice was so familiar, so haunting, and the lyrics nearly broke her. Maybe it was the sign of a good musician when they were capable of speaking to you as though they lived the same life.

"…Chuck would have liked them. He liked that type of stuff," Serena said at last, sparing a glance towards Blair to see how she handled the mention of her former best guy-friend.

As expected, a flash of pain flickered over her features. Blair had searched the hardest, the longest, even travelled for a year to every country she could in hopes of finding him. It was hopeless, just like they were, it seemed.

"Oh, would he? Good. Glad he liked something." The lips of the smaller woman pursed and the façade of shopping would be dropped as she looked away. "I still haven't heard anything for him. Part of me hopes that he'll just saunter back in old Chuck Bass fashion, but … the other part hates me for thinking that."

It was Serena who put an arm around Blair's shoulders and said nothing further on the subject, sensing the silent anguish that still plagued the brunette. "Did you see the hair on the waitress earlier? Really need to introduce some product to that woman."

While B knew that S was merely trying to change the subject, to get rid of the gloom that settled on her shoulders in a familiar settling, she'd ignore her. Out the window she was certain she had spotted the most curious thing – a man who resembled Chuck Bass.

That couldn't be, however. This man had on jeans, creased to perfection, and a plain purple shirt with its tiny buttons held swift all the way down. Chuck never did jeans, purple, yes, but not jeans.

"Er, B. You shouldn't look at guys the day before your wedding," cajoled Serena before leading her to the door. Blair followed along, still staring towards the window and didn't realize Serena had stopped until the two had a collision in the arch of the entrance.

"S! You can't just stop in the middle of the –" and then Blair spotted why Serena had stopped. It wasn't a haunting memory from her past, but the real thing.

Chuck Bass, years after he vanished, stood before them with a smirk. "Admiring my good looks already? I normally give a woman five minutes before they realize." The line was low, sultry even through perverse.

For the first time that she could remember, Blair collapsed. This was too much.


	4. hate this part right here

Hi all! :D So it continues. Are you excited? I am. I think this might be one of my favorite chapters so far.  
Anyway, I have a ton of hits that are telling me you're still alive so why no reviews? I thrive on those things and without 'em, I'm not sure where to take the story. Don't forget to give me your feedback!

Disclaimer/Warning: I own nothing, and the lyrics borrowed are credited. Further, there are issues in this chapter that fit the character. If you find yourself in a similiar situation, please ask for help. Even if it's through an e-mail message to my inbox. Ily.

- - - - - - -

Ladies never fainted. Even with her mother half way around the world, Blair could still the voice of the woman in her head. With help from Serena she is able to stand and the action leaves her dizzy. It doesn't help that Chuck Bass is standing so close, his natural musk still assaulting her senses.

When he does speak, his voice is low to try and mask the concern, the worry. "Trying to get me closer, B?"

It's with surprise that she glances down to see that her hand had wrapped itself around his wrist, clinging to it as though it was the last remaining lifeline. He didn't force it off so she left it there as she stared.

"S… is this real? Or am I dreaming?"

"Not that it's surprising to hear that you dream about me," Chuck interjected before Serena could reassure her friend, "But this is reality, Blair. Surely you know the difference. You used to be smart."

"I had my moments of temporary insanity. I believe they all started with you being around." Even after all these years, the two hadn't lost the thrill of the conversation and could keep going for quite some time. "What are you doing here, Bass?"

"Oh, so we're on a last name basis again? That's funny, because I can recall a time when you would whimper Chuck over and over."

Serena, who remained the two with a look of shock decided to take a step back. Blonde, she may be, but she saw the way that B's hand was still near his, touching him. Did Chuck feel the press of her engagement ring? Did Blair even remember it was there as she stared up at him?

"Erase the tape and scrub your brain. Dwelling on the past can't be healthy," Blair shot back, grateful for the hold she had on Chuck since it felt like her traitorous knees were ready to give out at the mention of their limo escapades.

Like predator to prey he'd lean in, whisper close to her ear so that even Serena couldn't understand, "Then tell me why you dream of it every night while you're beside Nathaniel. I warned you about cold bed fellows, Ice Princess."

Blair's eyes shut and anger battled with desire as she removed her hand from contact with him. "I hate you." This time, there would be no mention of why she was still holding his hand.

"You really shouldn't hate the best man of your wedding, Waldorf."

"You'd have to be the best or a man for that, Bass."

Palpable tension and sparks radiated off of them and Serena took another step back. No one wanted to be caught in the cross-fire of a Chuck and Blair arguments. They took no prisoners and left no survivors. Serena hadn't escaped without her own scars.

While Chuck had a comeback ready and waiting for this exact thing, he dropped it. Instead, he did what neither of them expected, he smiled. "I missed you too, Blair. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a suit to get fitted for." Her hand was seized before she could react and to it a kiss pressed.

Let the games begin.

"Did you see that, S?" Serena nodded as Blair continued with her rant. "He just … appears out of nowhere and that Basstard has the never to KISS ME." S didn't mention that it was just on the hand and that B didn't exactly pull her hand away. "As if he has the right, as if I want him to, anyway. And what did he mean about best man? No, nono, no. Nate said that he asked Dan to be the best man. Chuck is not Dan. Will he even know what color to wear? What if he wears the wrong one?"

Throwing a comforting arm around the shoulders of her smaller friend, S smiled softly. "It'll be okay, B. Let's just be glad that he's back."

"But why did he come back now, S? Now when there's nothing to fight for because everything is so permanent." It was the flash of sadness in those dark brown eyes that had Serena concerned as she looked to her friend, nudging a low fat smoothie in her hands.

"Maybe that's exactly why he came back. Now he doesn't have to fight and there's no pressure. He was never good for it anyway." If this was Serena's attempt to console Blair, B figured it sucked eggs.

The pair continued on in silence and found that it said the most. S didn't bring up the interaction in the bridal store, and Blair didn't bring up the fact that she was so sure she was still in love with that man.

--------

They shared a bed that night. Not Blair and Nate, as it should have been. No, it was Serena that Blair settled next to as though they were still teenagers. The groom to be was still out and enjoying his last part as a bachelor. Probably Chuck had caught up with him and both would return still drunk and high. A quiet tear rolled from B's eyes and traced a familiar path to her ears, eventually falling off.

When she dreamt, it was not of the wedding to come in the next few hours. It was of a wedding but instead she was in a different dress, a new location, and the groom at the end had the face of a devil. When it called for the groom to kiss his blushing bride, the mask was removed to reveal a face she was all too familiar with; Chuck.

"I do," whispered in her thoughts continuously as she remained unconscious.

It was Serena who tore her from the land she had ventured into by shaking her, concern written on her features. "B, Blair! You're squeezing my hand and chanting. Time to wake up, okay? Just … wake up."

After a few more shakes Blair rose and stared with haunted eyes towards her best friend. The brunette, who was normally so well, guarded casted vulnerable eyes towards a girl she had once viewed as an enemy.

"It's still him, Serena. It will always be him."

Without another word, S knew who the him was and wrapped Blair tight in her embrace while she quietly rocked. "No, B, it's okay. Everyone has pre-wedding jitters. It didn't help that you two had an encounter earlier. Remember when Nate proposed? Remember that story? Or when you two got back together for the …third time? Or was it fourth? By the ponds with the ducks? Remember how you called me that night so excited you couldn't sleep?"

The stories were good, the memories were even better. The what-if's that flitted through her brain were what caused her to pull away and climb out of the bed. "I just want to be alone right now, S. Just for right now."

What if Chuck had come to Tuscany?

What if she had been pregnant all those years ago?

What if Jack Bass had never came to town and the pair worked out alright?

What if it was Chuck that asked Dorota about her favorite spot, the best way to win her over?

What if it was Chuck that she would meet at the end of the aisle tomorrow?

The last thought had her in the bathroom of the other guest room, curled against the bath tub against the cool porcelain and the feel of a rug near her legs. It had been years, so why now?

Him. The answer and simple and yet complicated. It just as easily could've been her fault. So that's what she would tell herself as she expunged herself of all content and emotion.

------

"Nathaniel, if you take one more shot they're going to be wheeling you down the aisle tomorrow," Chuck warned, nursing a glass of water as opposed to his trademark scotch.

Nate, always looking to rebel against what Chuck's lifestyle was and what it meant took that last drink and tried speech. "Hopefully it'll be before Blair getsss down the aisssle. Thiss hass to be PERFECT." The last word was spoke with a hint of mockery, while Chuck looked forward and made no comment. "Everything has to be just right. Picked to the very last cocktail napkin, and expensive tablecloth with its matching chair cushions."

A laugh was bit back as Chuck stared at nothing, ignoring the advances of several of the women that walked by. It sounded like Blair to try and match everything. After all, the perfect person needed to have control over the perfect wedding.

Before he was able to reply, the amplified voice of the d.j. in a microphone interrupted, "I hear we have the members of Bad World with us. Let's see if they'll give us a performance!" The audience, given the type they were, was well familiar with the rock band and began to cheer, chant, and beckon them.

The majority of the band was willing to oblige and borrowed the instruments from the band that had been performing. Each looked expectantly and Chuck began to rise. Nate, who was quite tanked, looked expectantly towards his friend with a smile.

"Are they going to perform? They'll be at my wedding tomorrow. The one thing I got to pick!" He sounded proud of himself and Chuck, knowing that his best friend wouldn't remember this in the morning, nodded.

"Yea, they're going to put on a show. Just watch," with a smirk, the lead singer and billionaire was on his way to the stage after carefully removing his suit jacket. Fashion still mattered, no matter what bar you were in.

On stage, he was a different person. Those eyes were still smoldering, inky darkness glimmering in the lights of the stage that passed over him to highlight the other band members. Screams echoed through the establishment and the men gave a loud 'whoop' of encouragement as it appeared they would be getting a show tonight.

Stepping to the stand, looking more relaxed and free than any other member of the Breakfast Club, he fell into character. He was now the lead singer of a mildly successful rock band, and it was about damn time that they all knew.

"This is a new song. A different song. A song I wrote about a girl who breaks hearts, who lets me down and who I am in love with, with every piece of my shattered being. She'll never let me be." Nate stood and his blurry eyes narrowed, trying to focus on the stage as he moved closer. Was that Chuck? "And for the best friend who didn't notice a damn thing. Let's go!"

Yes, that was Chuck, even if he moved as though he was the rock star as opposed to a CEO of Bass Industries and best friend of the shaggy-haired man who waited below, drunk and engaged to the source of Bad World's latest single.

_(2)Yea, he's a looker  
But I really think it's guts that matter most  
I displayed them for you  
Strung out about from coast to coast  
I am easily make-believe, just dress me up in what you want me to be  
I'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now  
I've got to feel you in my bones again  
I'm all over you, I'm not over you  
I want to taste you one more time again  
I'm all over you, I'm not over you  
_

_In my day dreams, in my sleep  
Infatuation turning into disease  
You could cure me, see, all you have to do now is try  
Please try, give it your best shot and try  
All I'm asking for is love but you never seem to have enough  
I've got to feel you in my bones again  
I'm all over you, I'm not over you  
I want to taste you one more time again  
I'm all over you, I'm not over you_

_This life is way too short to get caught up in all this stuff  
when I just want you to love me back  
why can't you just love me back?_

_Why won't you just love me back?  
Why can't you just love me back?_

"You know how it goes! How she treats you. You love her, she leaves you. She loves you, you leave her. Then one morning, you wake up and realize she's getting married to the man of her supposed dreams and you're in the shower and you just know – it should've been you."

Nate, who wasn't quite sure of the meaning behind the lyrics in his inebriated state, went on to cheer for the man on stage. Even though he knew it was Chuck up there, it didn't feel like it was his best friend.

The impromptu concert continued on for a few more songs, but it was stuff that the crowd knew. Even Nate, and by the time it was over he was starting to sober and have little recollection of the first song that got this started. Instead, he found Chuck and tossed an arm around his shoulder.

"We've made up the guest bed for you. You're staying over and can help in the morning with … everything." He didn't say that the 'everything' was Blair, but it was implied that she'd be quite the handful in the morning. It was why the wedding had been decided for the afternoon so that she'd have time for her melt-down, Blair-style.

No sound of protest would be made from Chuck as they took the car to Nate's home. Once inside, silence was issued by the invisible law that reigned when you were sneaking in at 4 a.m. Once they reached the outside of his room, Nate would leave him to his own devices with a nod.

Beds were always appealing, especially this one. However, the drawback that such clean beds had was Chuck's inability to sully them by dropping into them after a show. Not to mention, he didn't much care for sweat. Spotting the door to the right he went to it, dropping scarf and shoes in the process.

Of all things to see when he opened the door, Blair was not among that list. It took him by surprise and that was a rare thing… except when Blair was involved. He was frequently surprised.

What he wasn't surprised by was the certain feeling of fluttering in his stomach. He knew it was the effects of the alcohol, but the constant feeling of her nearness. A frown was his greeting and he met it with a disapproving look.

"I thought it was Nate's turn to come home and get rid of his party, but it looks like you had one yourself. Don't you have a bathroom?" Crouching down to get a better look at her, Chuck inhaled delicately. While the scent of bile was in the air, it lacked the distinct odor of alcohol, and that was one he was very familiar with.

"Waldorf," he began, looking at the vacant look in her clouded eyes. "Did you take something?"

With a careful hand he began to brush away the stray strands of hair. Blair once had a rule; only her boyfriend could touch her hair, and seeing as how Chuck wasn't her fiancé, this was a clear sign of rule breaking.

She didn't bother to stop him, but instead encouraged his touch by moving her head against his hand. "Chuck."

It was only her that could say his name and put some much subtext in it. "…it's not a hangover, is it?"

Everyone had heard about the treatment that the flawed beauty had undergone in her early teens, but they never spoke of it. Maybe it meant that acknowledging it would make it real, and no one wanted to do that.

"What happened Blair?" He moved, settled against the tub and angled her so they she leaned against him, determined to keep her near.

"You came back and I'm getting married and … I secretly like the band that I hate outside of secret!" Only Blair could take something to miscellaneous and make it out to be a crisis.

"You're here because you like the band that you aren't supposed to like?" He didn't dare address the mention of his return or her upcoming nuptials. "Come on, Blair. I know there's more to it. You wouldn't relapse over a band."

Relapse was a hard word to swallow and caused Blair to cringe, forcing herself up and away from her former flame. "It doesn't matter." Whoever Chuck had found on the floor of his temporary bathroom was not the girl that sat next to him now, gaze downcast.

"Yes, it does," he urged, tucking her chin between two fingers and forcing her to look at him. "It does matter."

Having no more to say on the subject and tired of fighting, Blair would lean towards him. Knowing well that the taste of her breath would be unappealing, she'd not go for his lips. Instead, she collapsed against him and what little strength she had was let out in wracking sobs that shook her tiny body and bowed her spine.

Everything seemed to stop and his arms curled around her, and he felt a feeling that only she could cause. It wasn't the butterflies, but something he was even more familiar with around her; Heartbreak.

(2)all over you- spill canvas


	5. baby, i'm down on one knee

**hi everyone! it's good to see that you're still with me. this story has reached over 1000 hits and i'm delighted! thank you so much. and for those of you who do review, i couldn't appreciate anything more. you're wonderful.**

welcome to the next installment of bw. i hope you like it as much as i do, and let me apologize in advance if this chapter ends on a cliffhanger. keep readin'!

When she didn't feel the bed move, she knew that Blair hadn't come back. Alarm caused her to abandon her bed and start the search. Obviously, the first room that she chose to pop her head in was the master's where she was certain that Blair would go when things got rough, even if Nate wasn't around. To her dismay, Blair was nowhere to be found and it was even harder to see if Nate was in the bed. Swinging the door open, she'd continue forward to see if the groom had jumped out the window or simply hadn't returned.

"…Nate?" A feeling of uneasy settled, the air feeling eerie. The blonde took another step before wrapping arms around her waist, settling tightly against her as she continued to go forward. Was that a light in the bathroom? "Nate?" A little louder this time, hoping to gain attention if he was behind the door.

When the door swung up suddenly, Serena jumped nearly two feet away and felt her muscles tense as she prepared to run. Even if Blair liked to watch her Audrey movies, Serena still found time to fit in the latest horror and was quite glad she did. She knew what happened to pretty blondes in those flicks…

"Serena? Are you alright?" Nate emerged, a towel caught around his hips while another was pressed to his hair, trying to dry that mess as he moved towards her.

S blinked and was momentarily confused. Hey – he was engaged and she was just looking. No harm there. When she shook her head, she'd grant him a smile while sending herself the mental message that he was taken. "I was looking for B."

Confusion settled on his handsome features. He had thought Blair was with Serena since she wasn't here. With a frown, he padded back to the bathroom and slipped on clothes before appearing. "Then let's go. We've got to find her."

It took little to motivate Nate, especially when it came to Blair. There may have been a time when he was willing to let her go out and do whatever, but it was rare that he let it happen these days. He loved her so much it was often scary.

"I thought I heard Chuck earlier. Is he here too? I'll get him." When Serena turned to leave, Nate followed and the pair travelled down to the guest room where Chuck was staying. Before the door was opened they stopped at the sound of giggles.

Neither of the pair outside of the door felt brave enough to venture forth. Maybe it was some random girl that Chuck had summoned and would brag about tomorrow… but the feeling that settled in the pit of Nate's stomach told him that it was Blair. His future wife locked in the room with a well-known womanizer and she was giggling! It was a sound that Nate rarely heard, rarely got to appreciate.

A squeal of delight was followed by a quiet moan of pleasure and Nate's feeling of anguish gave way to disgust. Retreating was his only option, because he was certain that his reputation would take a hit were he to enter that room and deal with them the way he wanted.

"Uh oh," whispered Serena as she watched Nate storm away. Now, S had once played witness to Chuck and Blair and the passion they weren't shy to express, so she wasn't looking to repeat that mistake. Instead, she followed after Nate, figuring he would need comfort too.

When she caught up to him, he was already back in his room; fist red from what she assumed came from his attack on the closet door. Her hand reached out to find his shoulder, feel the way the muscles bunched under there and she blinked.

"Nate, Nate, listen to me. It's probably not what you think…" The sentence trailed off, a further argument withstanding.

It was pain that laced his voice as he turned towards her, and it was desperation that was written across his features, his handsome face twisted in tortured agony. "Not what I think, Serena? Let me tell you what I think. She cheated on me with Chuck. She lost her virginity to Chuck! She LOVED Chuck." Words escalated, and then dropped suddenly as though he realized the volume. "Do you know how many nights I held her after he left? How many times she cried and whimpered HIS name in her sleep? How, sometimes, she would look at me as though I wasn't even there. She was looking for him, wasn't she? All these years and I've just been too stupid to notice-"

If asked later, Serena would say that it was the pain on his face that compelled her, but in that moment she was certain she was acting on her own feelings. Throwing worry and caution to the wind, she kissed him.

Serena kissed her best friend's fiancé and could think of nothing she rather do in that moment then convince him that he belonged with her.

"Nate? Are you okay?" Asked the body that skidded around the corner, having dashed down the hall at the sound of yelling. Feeling detached from reality, Blair found words to be impossible in that moment. In her hands was a tube of lip stick, an 'A' scrawled across the lid. It fell to the ground as her ability to cope went with it. "S?" S for sadness, more like.

"Shit, Blair!" Nate pulled away from Serena, gained control of his wandering hands and ran a hand through his damp hair as he bit on a swollen lip.

What else could Serena do but turn around and face it? Shame clouded her features and she mentally cursed, taking a step forward as she realized the look on her friend's face was heartbreak.

A tear would not fall from Blair's eyes as she stared at them, face hardening. "What is this? Repeating history?"

Nate moved towards the trembling beauty and though he knew better, he let his anger speak first. "Same thing you're doing, isn't it? Locked in a room with Chuck." His best friends name sounded more like a curse.

Hands on hips, those wide eyes of the brunette's narrowed until all she could focus on was her own rage as she mulled over his latest statement. "The door wasn't locked. Want to know what we were doing? He gave me lipstick. An Audrey brand that I hadn't been able to get to. Do you see?" A finger gestured to her lips, painted over with the smoldering red as though she was preparing for a night out instead of sleep. "It- it was lipstick, but you don't need mine, huh? You have Serena's."

"B, we didn't mean to. He just thought that you and Chuck and I was just-"

"You were what, S? Ready to offer your lips? Yea, all of California knows that by now, I'm sure." Were it possible, one could see the ice that radiated from that one statement.

Chuck chose that moment to make his presence known, still wearing the clothes he had gone out in. It didn't take long for him to gather the information together and considering he was Chuck Bass he would say this, "Serena and Nate hooking up? Must be a wedding coming up. Oh, that's right, it's Nate's."

A snort of disbelief came from Blair at the mention of their history with weddings and before she turned on her heel she'd utter this, "Wedding? What wedding?" And like the tube of lipstick that fell to the ground, so went the ring that was promised to her all those years ago, the Vanderbilt heirloom making quite the sound.

"B!" was shouted from Serena while Nate called her name, hoarsely, disbelief clouding his vision as he stared at the hard wood floor.

The only one who followed her out was Chuck, though he wasn't sure why.

------

Tonight, though she felt her heart should be breaking, she felt comfortable. Both Bass and Waldorf came up with the idea to hide in the Palace for the remainder of the evening and they would attempt to form polite conversation in the morning. It was unlikely anything would be accomplished with Blair's wounded ego and tarnished wedding dream, but they would try.

For once, Chuck Bass played the gentlemen and prepared a bed on the sofa. He was uncomfortable and was certain that his back would hate him for this in the morning, but it seemed that Blair wanted her space.

This was exactly what she didn't want, but had troubles explaining this to him without making it sound as though she was weak or worse, that she needed him. With silence as their better companions, she left the bed (that only served to remind her she was alone) to take up what little space there was on the couch alongside the remaining Bass.

"Of all places that you decide to sleep with me, it has to be this tiny couch. As though there isn't a bed right there, waiting for you to take advantage of it."

When Blair spoke, it was with a tiny voice that reminded Chuck of a child. "The bed is too big. It reminds me that you need two people to make it feel right."

Instead of stating the obvious, that he and Blair were two people and that it would complete her equation, he sighed and rearranged so that she would be more comfortable. As always, it seemed to be more about her needs than his own, and so he would surrender his pillow and his sanity while tucking her near.

"I wrote a song about you, Blair," he murmured in her ear, certain that she was nearly asleep. With his face close and his eyes shut, he quietly let her hear the words that he had held within, waiting for this very moment.

_(3)it's the way that you blush when you're nervous  
it's your ability to make me earn this  
I know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep  
it's about how you laugh out of pity  
because let's be honest, I'm not really that funny  
I know that you're shot, just let me sing you to sleep_

if you need anything, just say the word, I mean anything  
rest assured if you start to doze then I'll tuck you in  
plant my lips where your necklaces close

_It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it  
it's your grace and how it keeps me grounded  
I know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep  
_

_While you were sleeping, I figured out everything  
I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me  
Now I feel your name coursing through my veins  
You shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame  
_

Just as he thought, she wasn't coherent to hear the words but was still awake enough to settle against him, mumbling those three words that he had begged for, fought for, lost for.

"I love you, Bass."

His lips pressed against the nape of her neck and he sighed quietly, certain that if his life ended now, he would be okay with that. Catching the glint of the ring around his finger, he removed the charade and stuck it in the cushions of his couch. Maybe some other time he would need it…

------

Misery was a better friend to him than he had thought. With his head hung in hands, he stared at the ground and contemplated the mess that he found himself in. How could he have let things go so far? Worse, why had he not shoved Serena away at the first sign of danger? Secretly, was he hoping for it?

It was nothing like when he kissed Blair. They were two different people with varied styles. Blair's was commanding, determined whereas Serena's was light, seeking. Finding it impossible to properly compare the two (and not really certain why he was even bothering with it), Nate gave up the idea altogether.

In the background, he could make out Serena's tearful apologies and hid a grimace. Sooner or later he would have to face her, and while he knew she'd be easier to deal with than Blair, he was still reluctant. Part of him resented her in that moment. This was the _second_ time he'd been caught in whirlwind Serena.

Grabbing his phone from the side table, he stepped out of the room with a short look to Serena. It implied that they would talk later, but first he was determined to locate his better half, if she was still with him.

Only Blair could make her voicemail sound like it was dismissing you while making you love her even more. Taking a deep breath, he dialed Chuck's number and remained still as it rang. The sleepy bass of the Bass was what greeted him, and his teeth grated together.

"She's with you, isn't she? Chuck. Don't you dare touch her." Best friend or not, this was his future happiness with his fiancée that they were discussing.

Baiting and antagonizing were traits that Chuck had mastered since the age of 3. They came easier when you knew the person you were taunting, "Hard to do that when I'm sleeping with her, hm?"

Nate should have expected this, and while part of him did, the larger half was seized in anger as his grip tightened on the phone. "Where are you? I can come pick her up, take her out for breakfast. We need to talk."

The way he said that last statement would have made lesser beings pity him. Chuck Bass, though he was a friend to Nate, had come to realize that he cared for more than just those three things that he had explained to Nate. Yes, his best friend of all these years was still on the list, but he had to prioritize now. There were things, people, who came above Nate and it was important that all players in this game were aware of that.

"Do you really think that's a good idea, Nathaniel? Haven't you heard? It's an eye for an eye. An affair with the best friend for an affair with the best man. Get some sleep, man." Not willing to stretch the conversation further and allow it to escalate to a brawl, Chuck pressed the button to sever the call and switched his phone off. Normally, a fight of the verbal would have been welcomed but that would have risked waking the damaged Sleeping Beauty next to him. Blair was sure to scold him once she heard of the conversation between him and Nate.

Out the window, he could see that the sun was starting to rise and it caused him to flinch. In darkness, things seemed to work out better. It was under that cloak that she came to him, that he came to her, that they were together. Would things change as the sun rose? With the sudden spread of daylight, would everything be forgotten and forgiven?

Out of an unconscious instinct, an arm tightened against Blair and pulled her near. With eyes closed, he pressed a kiss to her temple and settled back on his side of the couch with a quiet groan. What was he doing? More importantly, what would he do from here?

Deciding it was impossible to think when he only had two hours of sleep; he gave in and shut his eyes, hoping that his dreams would bring reason to this mess.

Dread; that was the name for the cold feeling that started in his stomach and eventually spread through his entire body as he opened his eyes. There was no warmth, no body, no Blair. Instead a piece of hotel paper with her neat, tiny handwriting belaying a letter that he should have recognized considering it was so similar to one he had wrote all those years ago.

_Chuck,  
I'm sorry for everything.  
You deserve better than that mess you found on the bathroom floor.  
Hope to see you at the wedding.  
Love, Blair. _

Jaw clenched, eyes shut, he started to count backwards from one hundred and realized that it was doing nothing to help him. She had left him and went back to Nate. A situation that had repeated itself throughout history. A vicious cycle, this one, and as was the norm, he would run after her, determined to convince her that this was wrong.

Grabbing his scarf and the note, he rushed out the door with little care to his appearance. Things had to be bad if Chuck Bass was preparing and primping.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

If Blair Waldorf's life was really a movie, she was certain that the director had called for a re-shoot of a scene that had been filmed early in her life. Here she sat, across from a repentant Nate who sought her hand over the table while she stared at his chiseled features and wondered how they had let things progress to this point.

"I'm so glad that you agreed to me with me, B," Nate began, running his thumb over the soft skin of her knuckles before he gave up the contact to reach for his glass. Preparing an apology while Blair stared with that empty look was never easy. "I don't know if you got my voicemails or messages, but I really am sorry. I hope we can move past this, Blair. I understand if you don't want the wedding to continue as planned, but maybe we can push it to a better date, where you're ready."

At the mention of wedding, there was a flash in those brown eyes, and she looked to him with the start of a smile. "Of course I don't want to move the wedding date. Just the time… Let's have a night wedding, okay? We can get the decorator to cover the place in those tiny paper lanterns with the butterfly shapes. The lighting would make my dress look even better and it's so romantic, don't you think?"

Beneath the table, she crossed her legs and gently bumped his with her foot. This caused him to smile, even if he was unsure of what Blair was saying. Didn't she need time to recover from his latest betrayal? Was she really willing to look past it?

As though reading his mind, she'd offer that same smile as she took his hand, displaying the return of her Vanderbilt engagement ring. "Nate, we're not the children we used to be. We'll make mistakes, but we can fix it because we're in love." Inwardly, B wasn't certain if she was saying this to convince her beau or herself.

"Of course we can," he said as he raised her hand, brushing a kiss to her knuckles. The sight of it awakened memories of Chuck's return and she closed her eyes, reminding herself to breathe and not hyperventilate. "I'll make the calls now, if you'd like?"

Though this wedding had been in the works for months now, it was the first time that Nate had offered to take the necessary steps to making it all come together. Grinning, certain that this was the right path for her to take, she shook her head and adjusted her curls over shoulder before replying, "Oh, no, dear. I'll take care of it. Have you spoke to the band any further? I'm sure they would like to hear about the time change."

Mention of the band had Nate frowning, trying to recollect a memory of Bad World with the night before and failing to do so. Unable to sort out what was memory and nightmare, he soon gave up and showed her a sheepish smile.

"I'll call them now. Meet you for dinner?" And just like that, things seemed as normal and natural as they were before Chuck had resurfaced. Briefly gritting his teeth at the mental thought of his best friend, Nate stood and leaned down to kiss Blair's cheek. "Love you, future Mrs. Archibald."

When her phone rang, she was saved from answering with the expected 'I love you too' and pretended her text message was a phone call by pressing it to her ear and blowing a kiss to Nate. Eventually she'd immerse herself in the conversation with her invisible caller, while Nate smiled and walked off to prepare.

After he had gone through the door, Blair flipped the phone and displayed the latest text message. Torn between laughing and crying, she shook her head and headed for the bathrooms.

"Chuck Bass, I know you have slept with every woman that has came through these doors, but that doesn't mean you can haunt it," Blair said as she opened the door leading to the female's personal quarters, laughing quietly to herself. Leave it to Chuck to be dramatic. "Sorry about this morning with – "

Whatever she was about to say was silenced as the scene was taken in. There, on bent knee was Chuck Bass, his signature scarf trailing on the tiles of the room as his head remained lowered.

"Don't you remember what I told you at my father's wedding, B? You don't give up on true love. That love you have with Nathaniel? That's not true. That's what you do give up on. But me? This poor fellow that is bent before you, offering his everything in the hopes that you'll accept it… This is what you don't give up on. Say it, Blair. Say what you were meant to say to me."

A tear slid down her pale cheek as she watched him, watched as he stepped to her, closer, ring displayed in its intricate box. It sparkled, a glinting reminder that reflected in her eyes as she looked up to him. "I'm getting married to Nate, Chuck… We've tried being a couple, one of us always leaves. We always mess up. This is, I mean, we are…"

"That doesn't answer my question. Say it, Blair. We're inevitable and we both know it. I've never done this in my life, and I never will again. You're it, you're mine, Waldorf. Say it, please." At the end, Blair would swear that she heard his voice crack.

Her mouth opened, wider than her eyes were in that moment and she answered him.

**gasp! what will blair's answer be? i'm thinking the next chapter will be the last and you'll find out her answer. maybe. ( : **


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